S and I saw this movie over the weekend. A very touching saga of parental love and a kids search for a never seen mother... Must see, whether you know Tamil or not...
Came the scene where Madhavan and Simran decide to tell the "truth" to their adopted daughter. They had adopted her as an infant from a war zone refugee camp and had planned to reveal her identity the day she turns 9.
Why 9? Only the script writer knows. Probably, they wanted to let her know themselves before anyone else tells it to the girl.
S and I got down to discussing the right age when the adopted kid should be told about it. Both agreed that 9 is too young. I thought that 18 is good, but still the kid is not mature enough to understand the gravity of the situation. But when is anyone mature enough to "understand" that your parent is just your guardian and not your parent.
What would the parents be going through when they tell the kid... What will the kid be going through when he/she gets to know... It is such a tender moment...
My cousin has adopted a daughter (a gorgeous doll by the way) and S's good friend has adopted another girl... When they get to know, what is going to be their reaction... How will they respond?
In midst of this deep thought, I have to mention this...
RS wrote this beautiful and touching letter to her son Chutku... He is yet to turn 1... I was just wondering -- when he grows up (i.e. is mature enough to understand relationships, emotions and affections) and reads this letter, what will his reaction be... How will he respond...
3 comments:
Nikhil,
What a co-incidence that you've written about adoption here. I have recently stumbled upon a couple of blogs where the family has adopted children.And they all write sooo beautifully. And all of them have mentioned that you should start early - by age 3, you have to start explaining to them where they came from and how important they are to you... So 9 is not early - 9 might be late!
I agree with RS here. The sooner the better. The child atleast has a chance to come out of the disbelief, hurt, anger, rebel, confusion, indifference and a whole lot gamut of emotions that it would go thorugh and still be able to attach itself to its adopted parents.
The longer the delay, greater is the risk of losing the child to the above metioned emotions.
And hats off to all those people who venture out to adopt kids. This is a nobler act than anything else in the world
@RS/Sharath - I do not agree 100% with you guys here.... I am still not convinced that the environment in India is that open to discuss these things with the kids at that age... Atleast here, its a possibility.. The whole process is less stressful for the child and parents here due to the open environment!!
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